10sBalls Shares A Postcard From Craig Cignarelli At The Australian Open Tennis 2018

If you’re looking for Oz, The Tanderrum Bridge is far a better path than the yellow brick road.

 

One of this year’s tournament’s technological innovations is the Umpire chair, which now requires a seatbelt and lifts the umpire ten feet into the air at the push of a button. This leads one to wonder what kind of mishap occurred on the former six-step ladder that necessitated this hi-tech solution, and whether the long haul up was just too much for someone who has to spend the rest of the day sitting, and watching, and saying complicated things like “30-40″

 

Serena’s team told her “to come to tournaments only when she is fully prepared to go all the way.” That advice has worked out pretty well in the past.

 

Australians’ attempts to cook good spaghetti are like Sharapova’s attempts to hit great drop shots.

 

Melbourne’s Brighton Beach is famous for having eighty-plus painted sheds and on any given day, you can find flocks of tourists dotting the sands to take photos in front of the artistry, which leads me to think Home Depot needs to rethink its marketing program.

 

When you ask for chips in Australia, the wait staff will deliver you french fries. If you really want chips (the “and salsa” kind) it’ll require some intense conversation.

 

Andre Agassi’s head glistens in the Melbourne sun and, if you sit right behind him, you can see court geometry in the droplets. He will get upset if you make a joke about it.

 

I’ve been wondering whether Rod Laver has to show credentials to enter his own arena. It’s sort of like Thom Jefferson being asked for ID and holding up a nickel.

 

The AO has a mechanical surfboard for children to practice their surfing. If the kids lose their balance, they are tossed from the board into the fabricated waves. This is Australia’s version of Texas’ mechanical bull and you kind of want a bunch of hammered seven-year-olds hanging around mocking each other. But then, this isn’t Texas.

Fabio Fognini (L) of Italy argues with the umpire while in action against Julien Benneteau of France during their third round match on day six of the Australian Open tennis tournament, in Melbourne, Victoria, Australia, 20 January 2018. EPA-EFE/DEAN LEWINS

 

Tomas Berdych of the Czech Republic argues with the umpire (R) during his third round match against Juan Martin del Potro of Argentina at the Australian Open Grand Slam tennis tournament in Melbourne, Australia, 20 January 2018. EPA-EFE/DEAN LEWINS