Noah Rubin’s “Behind The Racquet” • With • Noah Rubin | Tennis 10sBalls

Editor’s note: 10sBalls thanks Noah Rubin for giving us permission to repost these great stories. We wish him and this endeavor the best of luck. Great seeing Noah wearing K-Swiss and playing Solinco Strings.

 

“I should preface this by saying that I understand if the first part leads you to believe I am ungrateful or cynical. There are no words to explain the extraordinary opportunities tennis has given me and my love for this game never ceases to stun me. Regardless, I have come across obstacles I never thought tennis would force me to face. I am 23, yet I feel so much older than that. It seems that this sport has a way of making you feel irrelevant while at the same giving you this sense of entitlement. With the likelihood of losing every week and the forever expanding field of players, chances are if you were once ‘talk of the town’, that will quickly diminish over time. I feel in the case of many players, even in the slightest way, that hard work and past success should allow for present fortune. It is a never ending battle. I remember a loss last year in Spain after losing first round of qualifying of a challenger. It was 11 at night and there I am, all alone, tears slowly dripping down my face. There were only a few lights on as the club was shutting down. This loss continued a 5 match losing streak for me. I sat there thinking how hard I had been working, how much effort I put into this match and how in the world it was possible that after starting the year with a title I was now losing first round of qualifying. Recently after looking back at this match and other moments along these lines, I truly started to understand that tennis didn’t owe anything to any one. It is the sport it is and will not be changing any time soon. I thought I knew how unglamorous it was, but I was mistaken. It is an ongoing treacherous road that leaves you guessing what the right thing to do is. Quite often it has led me guessing if the output of effort is worth the product. After further analyzing I started to realize that I was losing the mentality I once had. That when I stepped on court, of course I wanted to win, but I played for the excitement of seeing my efforts displayed, for the love of running down every ball and obviously the intense pleasure that comes with extreme competition. Despite being aware, this won’t be an easy transition. There will forever be barriers to complicate it all. Please do not mistake this for comparing my journey to someone else’s. I am not blind to the fact that the worst instances in my career do not compare to them of a plethora of others, but this is my story and I wanted to share it. Playing for the money, fame, gratitude from family and friends and even friends of friends, will inevitably lead to dissatisfaction. I promise myself, when I am 50 years old and lie on my bed after a long day, I will know that my career was played for myself and nothing else.” -Myself (Noah Rubin)

 

 

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