Noah Rubin’s “Behind The Racquet” • With • Nicholas Lee | Tennis 10sBalls

Editor’s note: 10sBalls thanks Noah Rubin for giving us permission to repost these great stories. We wish him and this endeavor the best of luck. Great seeing Noah wearing K-Swiss and playing Solinco Strings.

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#MyBTR– “Afraid to show any emotion associated with weakness, I wouldn’t share with others how debilitating my anxiety was. I also felt isolated due to my sexuality, as my peers and coaches consistently used homophobic language. This only further exasperated my anxiety. My anxiety followed me into high school. By my junior year, feeling the additional pressures involving getting into a good college intensifying, my anxiety had manifested itself in depression. I began to have suicidal ideations and began to self-harm. Too ashamed of who I was as a gay man, I thought I would never find my place in the world, let alone in sports. I believed that I would lose the love and respect of those closest to me. Simultaneously reluctant and desperate for help, I decided to open up to a good friend about my feelings and the dire state that I was in. Worried that my situation would continue to escalate and scared that I would take my own life, he vocalized his concerns to his mom, who then contacted my mom. I eagerly wanted to avoid coming out to my mom. I did not want to disappoint my parents. But when confronted by my mom, I took a leap of faith and told her that I was gay. To my wonderful surprise, she still loved me and supported me for who I was. Worried about my mental health, she helped me find a therapist and psychiatrist who diagnosed me with generalized anxiety disorder (GAD) and prescribed me medication for anxiety and depression. Over the course of my junior year, I continued to come out to more friends and family. As my support network grew, I started to believe that it was okay to be me. I slowly began to love myself. Through working with my therapist and exercising more self-care, my mental health began to improve. And my tennis continued to improve with it…” @nicklee.aka.licknee

To continue reading the full story go to behindtheracquet.com

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