Noah Rubin’s “Behind The Racquet” with Lara Arruabarrena • Tennis | 10sBalls

Editor’s note: 10sBalls thanks Noah Rubin for giving us permission to repost these great stories.

“I always played tennis because i loved the competition and had so much fun during my matches. Practicing was always tough and i never liked it a lot but i knew i had to practice well to be able to be competitive during the tournaments and it was totally worth it and i really enjoyed everything. During my career, I have also relativized a lot everytime i lost a match thinking i would have another chance next week. As they say “new week new chances” and that’s how i always saw it from inside. Specially when is so difficult to win a tournament and all players except one, lose.

From when i was 19 to 25 years old, i was ranked between top 70-90 in the world and at some point i got bored of it cause i though i could do it better. So in 2017 i hired a new coach, started working with mental coach, followed super strict diet, i had bigger goals, more expectations and my journy was 24/7doing things for tennis and improve my game and be more proffesional.

I changed so many things about my game, my way of thinking and my way of behaving, not just on court but off court that i started feeling i was a different person. I didn’t enjoy competing anymore, i didn’t like practicing and i didn’t like anything about what i was doing. I could not run when i wanted to run. I wanted to cry in the middle of matches. I wanted to go back home when i just arrived to tournaments. I started having anxiety on and off court.

I ended up the year top 80 and felt every extra effort i made were useless cause i was at the same spot as every other year but being less happier. It was really hard to come back from that situation and it took me the last 2 years of struggling and thinking about retiring from tennis almost every day.

I’m back at loving the competition again. I’m not in the ranking i would like to be but i’m feeling competitive and i now i can go back where i was. That’s already a victory. But the most important thing is that i’m happy with my life, with what i do and with the people i have around me.”

Lara Arruabarrena (@laraarrua)